So yesterday I had the wonderful rite of passage of getting my wisdom teeth yanked - I rate it slightly below losing my virginity and my first birthday. Boy, if it was any more fun would've paid a professional videographer to have the experience recorded.
Anyway, I do feel like I'm a little late in the game - a lot of my friends and family have already gone through the wisdom tooth thing, so my story feels a little retreaded and slightly boring, but I may have bragging rights because I did manage to get all four of my wisdom teeth pulled - from all four corners of my mouth. So I have to eat like a paper shredder now, just right down the middle.
Yesterday my wife accompanied me to the oral surgeon, and after a bit of odd misunderstanding, we went ahead and I was sitting in the dentist's chair. I can't tell you what I wasn't looking forward to - the actual procedure or the insertion of the IV. But after a couple nodes were placed on me and a nitrous oxide nose mask was put over me, all I could do is imagine them taking Polaroids of me while I was out, making me pose in awkward and demeaning stances. Lucky for me, I have no reputation to uphold, so they couldn't really milk any extortions out of me.
The IV was fast and furious, one moment I was talking about how nervous I was, and the next moment someone was telling me to wake up. And then I was home. And then I slept a lot, having to wake up every once in a while to swap out the bloody gauze in my mouth for more gauze. I'm still tasting gauze today, as if it had become a part of me.
I slept most of last night as well, and today I feel a bit like a potato. More functional than yesterday, though not much. Taking Vicodin every few hours, and trying to avoid too many naps because my head feels like it's been kicked. My gums are swollen as well, and my concentration scattered. In fact, all the witty things I was going to say for this entry has been forgotten.
My wife was actually counting on my short term memory loss because I guess, yesterday she almost clocked me in the head with the car door. And we're not sure if I put my watch back on my wrist, because my wife said she didn't, and when I took it off before the IV yesterday, I put it in my pants pocket. Maybe the doctor gave me a hand.
2 comments:
I've been reading your blogs but not had time to add my own comment... just wanted to let you know ive been reading em all !!
and a quick thought about my own wisdom teeth experience (will have blog in detail about it someday.. have i?) i got out of the dentists office, still high as a kite, and wandered around in the parking lot confused, lots of blood streaming down my face and i rolled around on a little grass hill near the dentists place. i really remember that and more but yeah wildness...
You went alone and then you got acted a bit like a zombie puppy? Weird. Thanks for reading, dude.
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