Thursday, May 3, 2007


Yesterday Zoe managed to wrestle my Call of Duty disc out of a sleeve and she proceeded to show it to me. I got a little carried away because she knows she's not supposed to touch the stuff, so I gave her a light tap and she started to bawl. I picked her up, apologized, and she said to me, "You spanked my little bottom! You spanked my little bottom!"

So there you have it. She two and she likes to insist that she has a small butt.


Alex has been in underwear all day today, and even though he hasn't really gone potty, he's pretty happy about his Power Rangers underwear. He put on his shark undies and he went to show Zoe, lifting up his shirt and thrusting his pelvis in her face. And she leaned in looked at the sharks and went, "Wow." And my head imploded at the comedic potential of the situation.


Some Chinese kid at Clements High School in Texas was arrested and got his shit gone through because this Senior had created a map for his high school for the game, Counterstrike, which is evidently like one of those Tom Clancy/Socom military games. Well, the police arrested the poor guy (though I don't think charges were made), went through his room and found a few decorative swords, which weren't sharpened, but somehow implied that he might be susceptible to violence. They also confiscated the guy's hammer, which could be used as a weapon. He was forced to delete the map and will still graduate, even though he will not be able to walk in the ceremony.

And one has to wonder if the whole thing might have gone down differently if he wasn't Asian.


My whiskers do take a little getting used to. Exhaling suddenly has become a self-concious act, because I can feel the hairs swaying in my nasal breeze. If I wash my face, the droplets will pool around my chin and linger there. When I blow my nose - well, it takes me to the washing my face bit. Somethings when I look down while I'm chewing my food, it feels like someone stuck a bristly brush on my upper lip.

But now I'm afraid of shaving because I might lose my balance.


"Gun" is a 2005 PS2 game that I've rented before, and I've rented it again because I've been craving it a bunch. And sure enough I'm enjoying it this time round again because of it's cinematic feel and of course, gore. Blowing off limbs with an elephant rifle and riding in the plains on a horse with a western orchestra - that's my duality. But man, I really enjoy that game because it just takes you somewhere else. Just a ton of fun. I may end up buying it sometime down the line, just because it's infinitely fun for me to go through the paces.


This Flickr Photoset is disturbing I think because it's an attraction, either to instill virtues in the Buddhist faith in Singaporeans, or to scare the hell out of foreigners. I believe I've been there before when I was a kid, but either blocked out the hellish imagery or maybe it wasn't built yet. Seeing the photos are sorta weird because in the States, that would be considered tasteless and probably taken down as soon as it's put up. It's worth a look nonetheless, though I don't think it's safe for children. Unless you want to scare the bejesus out of them.


The kids have picked this up somewhere - either they misheard it, or it's some satanic children's program that I don't know about that they've watched. Either way, it's pretty funny. Whenever there's a situation that's dire to them, or they get hurt or something, they will wail:

Duuuuuuuuuuunes! It Duuuuuuuuuuunes!

I have no idea if they're wailing "Dunes" or "Dooms", but they are distressed when they mention it. Of course, while they're in their moment of agony, I'm usually laughing thinking about sand dunes.


Sweet Factory is evil. I bought a bit of candy for the kids and it was 10 frickin' bucks. C'mon, man. Processed freaking sugar, it is. My toffee sucked too, it was like a bit of chocolate with stale nuts stuck to a slab of tasteless marble. Except it wasn't crunchy marble, it was more like soft bone. I couldn't even finish it, I just had to toss it. I might bury the other two under a neighbor's plant or something.


Speaking of neighbors, we went out on a bike ride just now, and I heard alarms. Well, we went down the street and this elderly lady had her door open, and she told us that she couldn't reach the smoke detectors. She was cooking something without the fans on, and the alarms were just wailing the hell out. Anyway, I asked her if she needed help, and then I went and disconnected two of her alarms, using her stepstool. At one point, I wasn't sure if it was still going, so like a unemployed amateur clown I heard it to my ear, and deafened myself in the left ear. It's still ringing a bit, like someone stuck a chopstick in my ear.

Then we went toward the trail, and I made too sharp of a turn, and because Alex is in a child seat on my bike, the weight from behind pulled the bike on its side, and I almost dropped my son on the side of his head. Fortunately, the bone structure in my right hand contorted and deformed to hold the weight on my bike and my boy, and he recovered from the 45 degree angle and was unhurt. My hand's okay right now, but I imagine there's some permanent damage.

"You think you've got it hard, son? You want me to tell you the story of how I got this hook of a hand again?"

Gotta go. Bedtime for kids.

Cold, Lost, and Waiting

Boy, that sounds so sad.

So I'm sick as a dog, although I myself have never met any sick dogs. What is up with that phrase? Why not sick as a leper? But yeah, I'm oozing all kinds of thick yellow goodness and I've got this constant headache that only goes away when I play with myself. Ha ha. Cheap attempt at juvenile comedy there.


I don't think any of my friends watch "Lost", but I do and I don't have much else to talk about, so here it is. My theory about Lost. I think this is the second last season - they met a while ago to plan out the rest of the show, and I believe that next year will be its last. Along with the lower than desired ratings, and the quickly evolving plotlines, I don't think they're going to try to stretch it out.

A popular theory about Lost is that it's redemption, and that it's hell. Recently, the past two episodes have given them outside insight that it is hell, and that everyone on that plane is dead. It's been thrown out there that it's a parallel timeline or universe, but I don't think that's plausible, only because it's never really been hinted before. At least not blantantly. My theory is that everyone is indeed alive, and are actually part of the Dharma Initiative. They signed on to resolve the big conflicts in their lives, and all voluntarily underwent something that puts them in a controlled mind state. I don't know, I'm taking "The Village" route, whereby a group of individuals have put themselves in a situation so that they could try to solve their issues. But I'm still curious as to how the series will wrap up. A lot of the characters are starting to resolve their haunted past, so that's why I'm thinking what I'm thinking.


Although this isn't in the title, but I'm really looking forward to the rest of Studio 60 coming back and finishing up the rest of the first season. It'll only be four episodes, and the likelihood of a second season is very slim. But it'll be nice to have the closure. Too bad the series cost so much to produce. Otherwise it might have stood a chance.

Another show has caught my eye, and so far I've managed to miss most of it during broadcast. I've caught the rest either on iTunes or, and that is "Raines". I've always like Jeff Goldblum - he is just a little off, a little ticky, a little weird, which makes him interesting to watch. But the show is great. I would suggest watching them in order - the last episode for the season was more procedural and less about Raines. But the first two so far has been surprisingly heart-wrenching - Usually on crime shows and police shows, it's all about how the cops and CSI solve the murders, and how smart and cool those cops are. The victims and their mourning families are usually cannon fodder - story devices that give our main characters something to do. Raines manages to incorporate the victims into the story, along with the people who are affected by the deaths, in a non-flashy, non-spiritual way. These aren't ghosts - they are pure figments of his imagination. The interesting thing about Raines is that he is quite damaged from the get-go, and he only seems to be getting slightly worse because people around him are questioning his constant conversations with himself.

I hope that it returns for the next season, because we need shows that are more like that. And something that I'm trying to explore. That after so many cop shows and lores about justice, we forget about the victims and focus entirely too much on the heroes.


My weddings are in a bit of a slum. I'm waiting for a reply from one so I can finish up their wedding, and really mad at the next one I'm starting because it's got so many camera dropouts that I can't even import the friggin' footage onto the computer. Sigh.