Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Day Off

Didn't mean to take the day off today, but after a few hours of sleep I woke up with a stomachache and then the allergies just took over. Sneezing while you're lying down is a somewhat hazardous activity. Plus I just couldn't sleep. So I just got up and went downstairs, hoping to get tired enough or something. Ended up calling in sick because I knew I just couldn't make it till the end of the day. There was just no way.

Did end up taking a nap in the morning and woke up in somewhat of a daze, but we went out and did Tennis with the kids for the first time. They didn't do too bad, although Zoe didn't want to go for the ball much and overheated rather quickly, while Alex just wanted to play baseball. Trying to teach them that control was more important than hitting the ball hard, but I suppose they did pretty well regardless.

Boy, I hope the kids outside my backyard realize that they're tramping around in Daisy's bathroom.

Having a career crisis of sorts. The situation at my work ended up being nothing more than a typo, but essentially I got worked up because I was begging to get a title promotion, and they basically said there was no such thing. Then my co-worker goes to apply for the position and there it was. But like I said, it was a typo. I didn't have anything against my co-worker getting it, I was just sour that they didn't want to even admit that that position existed. In the end, much ado about nothing. The day got better though, when an engineering intern who was probably 19 or 20 came and had to study what I end and run some time trials on what I do. To top off the whole affair, this kid is from Western, which was my college. So it really felt like a bad joke from the Karma God, and I felt absolutely terrible about it.

Thing of it is, I really have to start doing what I love again. Even if it's not a paying position, even if only ten people see it. I have to do it again. It makes me happy. When I was in the shower yesterday, feeling sorry for myself, I reflected on the things that I've done. I've written 2 and a half feature length movies, a play, been published as part of a college curriculum, and taken a few honorable mentions at some festivals. It ain't much, and it all happened like eight years ago, but that felt so good. If I'm working on a movie and a tree falls on me, I wouldn't even mind someone saying that infamously cheesy sendoff, "At least he died doing what he loved. Because I do love doing that crap.

Been listening to podcasts as usual, nothing new there, but one of my new discoveries is the Kevin Pollak Chat Show, whereby this Comedian/Actor interviews assorted celebs. The surprising thing about most of these folks is the commonality of insecurity, self-doubt, and absolute blind ambition they have. The only thing difference perhaps between myself and them is that they were younger when they started, and they were in California. Well, most started elsewhere, but they pretty much ended up there or New York. Now I don't have to necessarily move there, since I do most of my own material anyway, but right now my biggest obstacles are time and money. Although it might be true that those two factors are obstacles for almost any scenario.

Anyhow, that is what is up right now. Stole this cool Arc wireless keyboard from my mom to type this blog and it's working out pretty good. Might tell her that I might borrow it permanently. Whatever gives me the illusion that it'll help my writing, huh?