"The parts at work didn't arrive on time, so there's no work today, which isn't much of a disappointment to me since I've seem to caught a cold or something. Despite sleeping for over 10 hours, I still feel like I was trampled by the lunch crowd at the Country Buffet. My head's floating on a cloud, my body is sore, and my throat feels serviced. Hopefully i'll be either on the mend or at least in workable condition for tomorrow, for my wedding anniversary tomorrow. We don't have anything special planned, other than the fact that my Mom's volunteered to watch the kids, so my wife and I will actually spend some quality time together.
Cable modem's on the blink, so i'll likely be spending a good part of the afternoon trying to get it going. Hopefully its the modem and not the router."
Well, that was earlier in the day, and I'm retro-reporting now, since I have now resumed normal blood flow and have found my pulse back. Basically, toward the end of Thursday of this week, I could feel the sickness knocking on the door of my immune system.
"Who's there," I ask.
"Land Shark," the virus would answer, abusing my nostalgia for old SNL comedy.
So on Friday morning, I was doing okay, but as the day progressed, I started to FAIL. And not like fail, but FAIL. In dramatic caps. Failure on a grand scale. It started out with a big of fatigue, some very tired eyes, and then I was just unable to really stay awake. We watched "Enchanted" in the afternoon and I was pretty much out for most of it. When I woke up and my wife had to go to work, I continued to nap on and off, or just lumbered around to keep the children off spikes and plastic bags, separating the candy from the drugs, and uttering really bad parental warnings like, "Please be quiet, or I'll whack you." I didn't mean it of course, it was the virus talking, much like the viruses in modern day zombie movies. Except I didn't eat brains, I just walk around handing out bad parenting.
Anyhow, I did manage to go out and fix that router problem. I swapped out a new modem from Comcast for free, but just as I suspected, the router had nothing to do with it. I just got a slick new router for good times. I did have to spring for a freaking new wireless router, and this time I went for the Linksys motherbumping dual antenna porntastic freakmaster. It was 60 bucks, but it has been worth it. Wireless reception is good, no more dropped connections, and I even pick up occasional alien transmissions between ships. Turns out they don't sanitize between probes. Eww.
So, here's a consumer report for you all. Don't buy Belkin. It looks fancy, it's priced a little better, but it's absolute sodding crap. I've had two things from them and they both failed. So there.
The kids watched "Follow That Bird" and in my feverish mid-slumber, I thought about how every Sesame Street movie has essentially the same road-movie muppet gets out of town formula. Throw in a few guest spots and songs, and it's another movie. In the middle of the movie, a blinding light floods my closed eyes and I thought, "Well, there I go. Not in a spectacular motorcycle stunt involving hoops of fire or during a cucumber eating contest, but during a kids movie from a fever. I opened my eyes and the light was still there, but then I just snatched the flashlight from Zoe and laid on it. Once the kids were in bed, I just laid down and slept some more. Woke up a few times, including once with a bladder full of scalding pee, twice sneezing my chest off, and once thinking that I was possibly having a stroke because all I could think about was all the buttons that my mind was accumulating, and they had nowhere to go so they would eventually force my brain to melt down.
I woke up again, and this time it was 2am. Everyone was asleep, and I felt like my hip had been kicked out of place. I went downstairs where it was cooler - seemed like my hallucinatory fever had finally fizzled out, and I just sat on the couch and bummed out in the dark. I actually slept for four more hours, then went back to bed for the rest of the morning. Luckily by the next day, I was feeling a lot better, and the worst of it was over. It's probably going to be the last time I "cook" my fever out, which they don't recommend because of silly side effects like brain damage.
But the most important thing really was that my Thursday night and all of Friday was lost, and I was ready for my Saturday, which was our fifth wedding anniversary.
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