Haven't written in a while because there's been quite a bit going on. Today for instance, I was pretty much off my feet because I was sick. Again. Bit of a fever, bit of fatigue, and slept through most of the day. Just not feeling all that great. On top of that, there's been extra work because weddings are just popping up left and right.
----
I met a friend yesterday that I haven't seen in like 12 years, since we both graduated from high school. These days she's busy with her two boys, and just being a stay at home mother. She picked up the conversation pretty easily, and I realized how incredibly rusty my Cantonese was. She didn't speak to me that much in Cantonese, but when she talked to her son I couldn't understand most of it. Yeah, when I can't words to a 4 year old, that probably means I need a bit of help.
But throughout the conversation, I just got that feeling that I was behind in life. Not really got a career going, not really pulling in money to support the family. It was a bit sad. She told me that I looked the same, except for my facial hair, which she didn't like all that much. I guess I'm not catching any breaks from the Asian community. We had to leave after about 2 hours because the kids hadn't eaten lunch, but it was a good meeting.
----
I had a stroke of bummer luck for a bit, just getting overwhelmed with work and then having not very good nights with the kids. Allergy season's kicking off so there's been some times whereby I'm either knocked out by the medication which gives me a serious fatigue problem, or I'm sneezing my head off.
But the other night, oddly enough after office hours, I got an email from Apple asking me if I wanted to go to a job seminar. I had applied months before, so it was a little surprising hearing about it. Did some homework about it, and I'm still far away from an actual job offer, so I'm not going to jinx it. The seminar isn't till the end of the month, and details are still non-existant. But I'm pretty excited.
---
We watched "Night at the Museum" with the kids tonight, and Alex really enjoyed the dinosaur. Zoe got a little bored and she was climbing all over the couch. The kids were up a bit later than usual, but I think they really enjoyed the movie.
Okay, I'm not as clear minded as I thought I was.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Rojak
Yesterday Zoe managed to wrestle my Call of Duty disc out of a sleeve and she proceeded to show it to me. I got a little carried away because she knows she's not supposed to touch the stuff, so I gave her a light tap and she started to bawl. I picked her up, apologized, and she said to me, "You spanked my little bottom! You spanked my little bottom!"
So there you have it. She two and she likes to insist that she has a small butt.
----
Alex has been in underwear all day today, and even though he hasn't really gone potty, he's pretty happy about his Power Rangers underwear. He put on his shark undies and he went to show Zoe, lifting up his shirt and thrusting his pelvis in her face. And she leaned in looked at the sharks and went, "Wow." And my head imploded at the comedic potential of the situation.
----
Some Chinese kid at Clements High School in Texas was arrested and got his shit gone through because this Senior had created a map for his high school for the game, Counterstrike, which is evidently like one of those Tom Clancy/Socom military games. Well, the police arrested the poor guy (though I don't think charges were made), went through his room and found a few decorative swords, which weren't sharpened, but somehow implied that he might be susceptible to violence. They also confiscated the guy's hammer, which could be used as a weapon. He was forced to delete the map and will still graduate, even though he will not be able to walk in the ceremony.
And one has to wonder if the whole thing might have gone down differently if he wasn't Asian.
----
My whiskers do take a little getting used to. Exhaling suddenly has become a self-concious act, because I can feel the hairs swaying in my nasal breeze. If I wash my face, the droplets will pool around my chin and linger there. When I blow my nose - well, it takes me to the washing my face bit. Somethings when I look down while I'm chewing my food, it feels like someone stuck a bristly brush on my upper lip.
But now I'm afraid of shaving because I might lose my balance.
----
"Gun" is a 2005 PS2 game that I've rented before, and I've rented it again because I've been craving it a bunch. And sure enough I'm enjoying it this time round again because of it's cinematic feel and of course, gore. Blowing off limbs with an elephant rifle and riding in the plains on a horse with a western orchestra - that's my duality. But man, I really enjoy that game because it just takes you somewhere else. Just a ton of fun. I may end up buying it sometime down the line, just because it's infinitely fun for me to go through the paces.
----
This Flickr Photoset is disturbing I think because it's an attraction, either to instill virtues in the Buddhist faith in Singaporeans, or to scare the hell out of foreigners. I believe I've been there before when I was a kid, but either blocked out the hellish imagery or maybe it wasn't built yet. Seeing the photos are sorta weird because in the States, that would be considered tasteless and probably taken down as soon as it's put up. It's worth a look nonetheless, though I don't think it's safe for children. Unless you want to scare the bejesus out of them.
----
The kids have picked this up somewhere - either they misheard it, or it's some satanic children's program that I don't know about that they've watched. Either way, it's pretty funny. Whenever there's a situation that's dire to them, or they get hurt or something, they will wail:
Duuuuuuuuuuunes! It Duuuuuuuuuuunes!
I have no idea if they're wailing "Dunes" or "Dooms", but they are distressed when they mention it. Of course, while they're in their moment of agony, I'm usually laughing thinking about sand dunes.
----
Sweet Factory is evil. I bought a bit of candy for the kids and it was 10 frickin' bucks. C'mon, man. Processed freaking sugar, it is. My toffee sucked too, it was like a bit of chocolate with stale nuts stuck to a slab of tasteless marble. Except it wasn't crunchy marble, it was more like soft bone. I couldn't even finish it, I just had to toss it. I might bury the other two under a neighbor's plant or something.
----
Speaking of neighbors, we went out on a bike ride just now, and I heard alarms. Well, we went down the street and this elderly lady had her door open, and she told us that she couldn't reach the smoke detectors. She was cooking something without the fans on, and the alarms were just wailing the hell out. Anyway, I asked her if she needed help, and then I went and disconnected two of her alarms, using her stepstool. At one point, I wasn't sure if it was still going, so like a unemployed amateur clown I heard it to my ear, and deafened myself in the left ear. It's still ringing a bit, like someone stuck a chopstick in my ear.
Then we went toward the trail, and I made too sharp of a turn, and because Alex is in a child seat on my bike, the weight from behind pulled the bike on its side, and I almost dropped my son on the side of his head. Fortunately, the bone structure in my right hand contorted and deformed to hold the weight on my bike and my boy, and he recovered from the 45 degree angle and was unhurt. My hand's okay right now, but I imagine there's some permanent damage.
"You think you've got it hard, son? You want me to tell you the story of how I got this hook of a hand again?"
Gotta go. Bedtime for kids.
So there you have it. She two and she likes to insist that she has a small butt.
----
Alex has been in underwear all day today, and even though he hasn't really gone potty, he's pretty happy about his Power Rangers underwear. He put on his shark undies and he went to show Zoe, lifting up his shirt and thrusting his pelvis in her face. And she leaned in looked at the sharks and went, "Wow." And my head imploded at the comedic potential of the situation.
----
Some Chinese kid at Clements High School in Texas was arrested and got his shit gone through because this Senior had created a map for his high school for the game, Counterstrike, which is evidently like one of those Tom Clancy/Socom military games. Well, the police arrested the poor guy (though I don't think charges were made), went through his room and found a few decorative swords, which weren't sharpened, but somehow implied that he might be susceptible to violence. They also confiscated the guy's hammer, which could be used as a weapon. He was forced to delete the map and will still graduate, even though he will not be able to walk in the ceremony.
And one has to wonder if the whole thing might have gone down differently if he wasn't Asian.
----
My whiskers do take a little getting used to. Exhaling suddenly has become a self-concious act, because I can feel the hairs swaying in my nasal breeze. If I wash my face, the droplets will pool around my chin and linger there. When I blow my nose - well, it takes me to the washing my face bit. Somethings when I look down while I'm chewing my food, it feels like someone stuck a bristly brush on my upper lip.
But now I'm afraid of shaving because I might lose my balance.
----
"Gun" is a 2005 PS2 game that I've rented before, and I've rented it again because I've been craving it a bunch. And sure enough I'm enjoying it this time round again because of it's cinematic feel and of course, gore. Blowing off limbs with an elephant rifle and riding in the plains on a horse with a western orchestra - that's my duality. But man, I really enjoy that game because it just takes you somewhere else. Just a ton of fun. I may end up buying it sometime down the line, just because it's infinitely fun for me to go through the paces.
----
This Flickr Photoset is disturbing I think because it's an attraction, either to instill virtues in the Buddhist faith in Singaporeans, or to scare the hell out of foreigners. I believe I've been there before when I was a kid, but either blocked out the hellish imagery or maybe it wasn't built yet. Seeing the photos are sorta weird because in the States, that would be considered tasteless and probably taken down as soon as it's put up. It's worth a look nonetheless, though I don't think it's safe for children. Unless you want to scare the bejesus out of them.
----
The kids have picked this up somewhere - either they misheard it, or it's some satanic children's program that I don't know about that they've watched. Either way, it's pretty funny. Whenever there's a situation that's dire to them, or they get hurt or something, they will wail:
Duuuuuuuuuuunes! It Duuuuuuuuuuunes!
I have no idea if they're wailing "Dunes" or "Dooms", but they are distressed when they mention it. Of course, while they're in their moment of agony, I'm usually laughing thinking about sand dunes.
----
Sweet Factory is evil. I bought a bit of candy for the kids and it was 10 frickin' bucks. C'mon, man. Processed freaking sugar, it is. My toffee sucked too, it was like a bit of chocolate with stale nuts stuck to a slab of tasteless marble. Except it wasn't crunchy marble, it was more like soft bone. I couldn't even finish it, I just had to toss it. I might bury the other two under a neighbor's plant or something.
----
Speaking of neighbors, we went out on a bike ride just now, and I heard alarms. Well, we went down the street and this elderly lady had her door open, and she told us that she couldn't reach the smoke detectors. She was cooking something without the fans on, and the alarms were just wailing the hell out. Anyway, I asked her if she needed help, and then I went and disconnected two of her alarms, using her stepstool. At one point, I wasn't sure if it was still going, so like a unemployed amateur clown I heard it to my ear, and deafened myself in the left ear. It's still ringing a bit, like someone stuck a chopstick in my ear.
Then we went toward the trail, and I made too sharp of a turn, and because Alex is in a child seat on my bike, the weight from behind pulled the bike on its side, and I almost dropped my son on the side of his head. Fortunately, the bone structure in my right hand contorted and deformed to hold the weight on my bike and my boy, and he recovered from the 45 degree angle and was unhurt. My hand's okay right now, but I imagine there's some permanent damage.
"You think you've got it hard, son? You want me to tell you the story of how I got this hook of a hand again?"
Gotta go. Bedtime for kids.
Cold, Lost, and Waiting
Boy, that sounds so sad.
So I'm sick as a dog, although I myself have never met any sick dogs. What is up with that phrase? Why not sick as a leper? But yeah, I'm oozing all kinds of thick yellow goodness and I've got this constant headache that only goes away when I play with myself. Ha ha. Cheap attempt at juvenile comedy there.
----
I don't think any of my friends watch "Lost", but I do and I don't have much else to talk about, so here it is. My theory about Lost. I think this is the second last season - they met a while ago to plan out the rest of the show, and I believe that next year will be its last. Along with the lower than desired ratings, and the quickly evolving plotlines, I don't think they're going to try to stretch it out.
A popular theory about Lost is that it's redemption, and that it's hell. Recently, the past two episodes have given them outside insight that it is hell, and that everyone on that plane is dead. It's been thrown out there that it's a parallel timeline or universe, but I don't think that's plausible, only because it's never really been hinted before. At least not blantantly. My theory is that everyone is indeed alive, and are actually part of the Dharma Initiative. They signed on to resolve the big conflicts in their lives, and all voluntarily underwent something that puts them in a controlled mind state. I don't know, I'm taking "The Village" route, whereby a group of individuals have put themselves in a situation so that they could try to solve their issues. But I'm still curious as to how the series will wrap up. A lot of the characters are starting to resolve their haunted past, so that's why I'm thinking what I'm thinking.
-----
Although this isn't in the title, but I'm really looking forward to the rest of Studio 60 coming back and finishing up the rest of the first season. It'll only be four episodes, and the likelihood of a second season is very slim. But it'll be nice to have the closure. Too bad the series cost so much to produce. Otherwise it might have stood a chance.
Another show has caught my eye, and so far I've managed to miss most of it during broadcast. I've caught the rest either on iTunes or NBC.com, and that is "Raines". I've always like Jeff Goldblum - he is just a little off, a little ticky, a little weird, which makes him interesting to watch. But the show is great. I would suggest watching them in order - the last episode for the season was more procedural and less about Raines. But the first two so far has been surprisingly heart-wrenching - Usually on crime shows and police shows, it's all about how the cops and CSI solve the murders, and how smart and cool those cops are. The victims and their mourning families are usually cannon fodder - story devices that give our main characters something to do. Raines manages to incorporate the victims into the story, along with the people who are affected by the deaths, in a non-flashy, non-spiritual way. These aren't ghosts - they are pure figments of his imagination. The interesting thing about Raines is that he is quite damaged from the get-go, and he only seems to be getting slightly worse because people around him are questioning his constant conversations with himself.
I hope that it returns for the next season, because we need shows that are more like that. And something that I'm trying to explore. That after so many cop shows and lores about justice, we forget about the victims and focus entirely too much on the heroes.
----
My weddings are in a bit of a slum. I'm waiting for a reply from one so I can finish up their wedding, and really mad at the next one I'm starting because it's got so many camera dropouts that I can't even import the friggin' footage onto the computer. Sigh.
So I'm sick as a dog, although I myself have never met any sick dogs. What is up with that phrase? Why not sick as a leper? But yeah, I'm oozing all kinds of thick yellow goodness and I've got this constant headache that only goes away when I play with myself. Ha ha. Cheap attempt at juvenile comedy there.
----
I don't think any of my friends watch "Lost", but I do and I don't have much else to talk about, so here it is. My theory about Lost. I think this is the second last season - they met a while ago to plan out the rest of the show, and I believe that next year will be its last. Along with the lower than desired ratings, and the quickly evolving plotlines, I don't think they're going to try to stretch it out.
A popular theory about Lost is that it's redemption, and that it's hell. Recently, the past two episodes have given them outside insight that it is hell, and that everyone on that plane is dead. It's been thrown out there that it's a parallel timeline or universe, but I don't think that's plausible, only because it's never really been hinted before. At least not blantantly. My theory is that everyone is indeed alive, and are actually part of the Dharma Initiative. They signed on to resolve the big conflicts in their lives, and all voluntarily underwent something that puts them in a controlled mind state. I don't know, I'm taking "The Village" route, whereby a group of individuals have put themselves in a situation so that they could try to solve their issues. But I'm still curious as to how the series will wrap up. A lot of the characters are starting to resolve their haunted past, so that's why I'm thinking what I'm thinking.
-----
Although this isn't in the title, but I'm really looking forward to the rest of Studio 60 coming back and finishing up the rest of the first season. It'll only be four episodes, and the likelihood of a second season is very slim. But it'll be nice to have the closure. Too bad the series cost so much to produce. Otherwise it might have stood a chance.
Another show has caught my eye, and so far I've managed to miss most of it during broadcast. I've caught the rest either on iTunes or NBC.com, and that is "Raines". I've always like Jeff Goldblum - he is just a little off, a little ticky, a little weird, which makes him interesting to watch. But the show is great. I would suggest watching them in order - the last episode for the season was more procedural and less about Raines. But the first two so far has been surprisingly heart-wrenching - Usually on crime shows and police shows, it's all about how the cops and CSI solve the murders, and how smart and cool those cops are. The victims and their mourning families are usually cannon fodder - story devices that give our main characters something to do. Raines manages to incorporate the victims into the story, along with the people who are affected by the deaths, in a non-flashy, non-spiritual way. These aren't ghosts - they are pure figments of his imagination. The interesting thing about Raines is that he is quite damaged from the get-go, and he only seems to be getting slightly worse because people around him are questioning his constant conversations with himself.
I hope that it returns for the next season, because we need shows that are more like that. And something that I'm trying to explore. That after so many cop shows and lores about justice, we forget about the victims and focus entirely too much on the heroes.
----
My weddings are in a bit of a slum. I'm waiting for a reply from one so I can finish up their wedding, and really mad at the next one I'm starting because it's got so many camera dropouts that I can't even import the friggin' footage onto the computer. Sigh.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
One for the Kids
Ever since I abandoned the baby-centric confines of American Babies, I've been posting more frequently because I can get back to bitching irreponsibly about everything without seeming like I'm stealing thunder from the kids. However, it's been a while since I've talked about the kids directly, and not in a pedestrian sort of way. So here it is. To prove that they're still around.
It's hard to talk about Alex first without talking about his face. He looks like he's been in a couple of barfights that he's won, judging from the smile that always finds it place on his face. He's got scratches and scabs from his own doing, and he always looks a bit blotchy. Yesterday we went to the playground and it wasn't exactly summer weather. Lingering around 40s or so, and he had just a long sleeve shirt and a jacket on. After a few minutes, I looked at him, looked at the other kids in the playground, and my boy is the only tyke that's drenched in sweat. You could tell from the way his hair's all matted down. I don't suppose Hawaii would be a good idea for this internal combustable boy.
Communicating with Alex is still a bit of a challenge. Even though he does know a lot of words and is observant, he is either slurring his words or mispronouncing them so he's only understandable half the time, or he's just too distract and crazy to express himself. I get a little frustrated at that sometimes, because the only way to actively get his attention is to play with him. I guess that's normal for most boys his age, but it would be nice to be able to talk a little bit. When he talks though, he does have a bit of humor behind it. Most of the times it's unintentional. The other night when my wife called, he ended the call by saying, "Dokie Dokie, Bye Bye, Mommy."
He's got the big brother thing streak in him, a trait that causes him to pick on his little sister frequently, but he occasionally throws her off by being a really nice big brother as well, sharing with her and giving her what she wants, regardless of whether she deserved it in the first place. He still turns a deaf ear to authority from time to time, toeing that line between what he can get away with. I know it's normal, though it does drive me up the wall when he's cheerful about his defiance.
Like me, he's got a healthy dose of anal retentiveness, and he'd always want something verified or done if he's got his mind set on it. The big thing now is that he wants his hug and kiss before bed. No more than once, but definitely a hug and kiss is required. Then, oddly, he'll say, "We hug and kiss already huh, Daddy?" And you'll have to say, "Yeah, we hug and kiss already." If you don't, he'll just repeat it over and over again, with increased anxiety and volume, until you acknowledge it by repetition. I haven't found out exactly what happens if you never reply, but then again, nuclear fallout, controlled or not, is illegal in this neighborhood.
He's really looking forward to the notion of school, I think he likes to socialize, play with video games, guns, and other boys. I'm sure there's nothing he'd love more than to go crazy with other boys.
---
Zoe surprises me sometimes, she's picked up this huge pool of vocabulary and there's nothing she loves more than to talk. Talk. Talk. Sometimes it's fun to talk to her, but sometimes it feels a bit like a strange run-in with an old high school classmate, the real chatty one, and you can wait for her to find someone else to talk to. But all in all, she does pick up a lot of things from us and from the TV.
Lately she's picked up a fear of bugs, whereby she'll run and start bawling like a Muppet. She didn't used to be this way, maybe she just realized that she ain't so big after all. She still likes to be known as a Ballerina, and it sorta bothers me that we can't afford classes for her.
Her dramatic flair did peak for a little while - a bump from her brother or a tumble will send her into a open-jawed wail - of course, if you witnessed the incident or know how quickly she snaps out of it if the right stimulus came along, you'd know that she's just testing how much drama she's allowed to dish out without being called on it. That little girl's learning emotion manipulation already. She serves ham daily and mugs for the camera.
---
It's weird to have them both this close and to see them develop into their own personalities. Both Alex and Zoe have somehow picked up things that neither my wife and I do very much, that aggressive boyness that Alex has and the girliness that Zoe has. But it's nice in its own way to see them find their voices and beliefs, yet frightening to know that it's way beyond our control.
It's hard to talk about Alex first without talking about his face. He looks like he's been in a couple of barfights that he's won, judging from the smile that always finds it place on his face. He's got scratches and scabs from his own doing, and he always looks a bit blotchy. Yesterday we went to the playground and it wasn't exactly summer weather. Lingering around 40s or so, and he had just a long sleeve shirt and a jacket on. After a few minutes, I looked at him, looked at the other kids in the playground, and my boy is the only tyke that's drenched in sweat. You could tell from the way his hair's all matted down. I don't suppose Hawaii would be a good idea for this internal combustable boy.
Communicating with Alex is still a bit of a challenge. Even though he does know a lot of words and is observant, he is either slurring his words or mispronouncing them so he's only understandable half the time, or he's just too distract and crazy to express himself. I get a little frustrated at that sometimes, because the only way to actively get his attention is to play with him. I guess that's normal for most boys his age, but it would be nice to be able to talk a little bit. When he talks though, he does have a bit of humor behind it. Most of the times it's unintentional. The other night when my wife called, he ended the call by saying, "Dokie Dokie, Bye Bye, Mommy."
He's got the big brother thing streak in him, a trait that causes him to pick on his little sister frequently, but he occasionally throws her off by being a really nice big brother as well, sharing with her and giving her what she wants, regardless of whether she deserved it in the first place. He still turns a deaf ear to authority from time to time, toeing that line between what he can get away with. I know it's normal, though it does drive me up the wall when he's cheerful about his defiance.
Like me, he's got a healthy dose of anal retentiveness, and he'd always want something verified or done if he's got his mind set on it. The big thing now is that he wants his hug and kiss before bed. No more than once, but definitely a hug and kiss is required. Then, oddly, he'll say, "We hug and kiss already huh, Daddy?" And you'll have to say, "Yeah, we hug and kiss already." If you don't, he'll just repeat it over and over again, with increased anxiety and volume, until you acknowledge it by repetition. I haven't found out exactly what happens if you never reply, but then again, nuclear fallout, controlled or not, is illegal in this neighborhood.
He's really looking forward to the notion of school, I think he likes to socialize, play with video games, guns, and other boys. I'm sure there's nothing he'd love more than to go crazy with other boys.
---
Zoe surprises me sometimes, she's picked up this huge pool of vocabulary and there's nothing she loves more than to talk. Talk. Talk. Sometimes it's fun to talk to her, but sometimes it feels a bit like a strange run-in with an old high school classmate, the real chatty one, and you can wait for her to find someone else to talk to. But all in all, she does pick up a lot of things from us and from the TV.
Lately she's picked up a fear of bugs, whereby she'll run and start bawling like a Muppet. She didn't used to be this way, maybe she just realized that she ain't so big after all. She still likes to be known as a Ballerina, and it sorta bothers me that we can't afford classes for her.
Her dramatic flair did peak for a little while - a bump from her brother or a tumble will send her into a open-jawed wail - of course, if you witnessed the incident or know how quickly she snaps out of it if the right stimulus came along, you'd know that she's just testing how much drama she's allowed to dish out without being called on it. That little girl's learning emotion manipulation already. She serves ham daily and mugs for the camera.
---
It's weird to have them both this close and to see them develop into their own personalities. Both Alex and Zoe have somehow picked up things that neither my wife and I do very much, that aggressive boyness that Alex has and the girliness that Zoe has. But it's nice in its own way to see them find their voices and beliefs, yet frightening to know that it's way beyond our control.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Miffed, Inspired, and Scared, all at once.
Did a wedding last weekend, right? The guy calls me up and wants the video in the next three days so that his parents can get a copy. If videography was really that easy, then I wouldn't be trying to get out of it, now, would I? I had to call up and tell his answering machine that the contract does state 6-8 weeks, and that I'm working on some current clients right now, both of which are 5 months late. So, sorry buddy. You're going to have to airmail that sucker. You're going to have to wait two months before you find out that your friends, relatives, and especially your officiant had blocked all the shots of you guys kissing. I find this line of work frustrating because of this. I need my ego stroked more often and my workmanship downplayed less.
----
I was watching "The Incredibles" a few days ago, and the montage whereby Robert Parr is suddenly more inspired, playing with his kids, being more active, looking and feeling better, and just being a better person because he had just recently gone back to his superhero activities - that's what I'm thinking might happen if I get out of this funk. Having a certain control over my career might reinspire me to be a better person. Certainly less cranky. Heard from a few close people that he tend to like it when I feel good about myself - I guess it's somehow easier to deal with and generally more pleasant when I'm positive.
----
So, financially, we've been scraping the bottom, which really blares out the notion that I should hurry up and finish the weddings, and get some job to save some money for a house. But my wife, despite it all, still insists that I should just get that movie made. Otherwise it'll just bug the crap out of me forever, and I think she's right. It's like Rocky Balboa talking about having to release that beast that's inside him. That he had one good fight left inside of him, and that he needed to get rid of it to continue on with his life. Well, it's not my last fight, but I've got to release something sometime soon. I'm oozing it out my ears, practically.
But thinking about working for about a month on a movie with no pay, a budget that's probably going to be completely on credit, and a crew with low stipends? That's freaking the crap out of me.
Oh yeah, I have to write it too.
----
I was watching "The Incredibles" a few days ago, and the montage whereby Robert Parr is suddenly more inspired, playing with his kids, being more active, looking and feeling better, and just being a better person because he had just recently gone back to his superhero activities - that's what I'm thinking might happen if I get out of this funk. Having a certain control over my career might reinspire me to be a better person. Certainly less cranky. Heard from a few close people that he tend to like it when I feel good about myself - I guess it's somehow easier to deal with and generally more pleasant when I'm positive.
----
So, financially, we've been scraping the bottom, which really blares out the notion that I should hurry up and finish the weddings, and get some job to save some money for a house. But my wife, despite it all, still insists that I should just get that movie made. Otherwise it'll just bug the crap out of me forever, and I think she's right. It's like Rocky Balboa talking about having to release that beast that's inside him. That he had one good fight left inside of him, and that he needed to get rid of it to continue on with his life. Well, it's not my last fight, but I've got to release something sometime soon. I'm oozing it out my ears, practically.
But thinking about working for about a month on a movie with no pay, a budget that's probably going to be completely on credit, and a crew with low stipends? That's freaking the crap out of me.
Oh yeah, I have to write it too.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Life on Another Planet
I spent most of this morning pissed because I heard of the suspension of two NY DJ's. Not that I had any love for them, but these two idiots re-broadcast a segment that featured a computerized voice prank calling a Chinese restaurant, and then proceed to pepper the conversation with racist and sexist crap. That itself is really annoying, but there actually is support for the two DJs from the fans, and some from the media as well. I get a little tired of the double standards that exist between people of color sometimes. It seems like some racism get noticed and remedied, and some don't. Anyway, the support for the DJs is scary to me. They cite freedom of speech and expression, they cite that people need to get a life and learn to take a joke, and they blame CBS for the suspensions because they are censoring the shock jocks.
Now I don't necessarily want the jobs to be terminated, but I do want apologies to be public. Stupid, crass humor by shock jocks will always exist, but our society needs to be more unified as to what constitutes responsible entertainment and what doesn't. First of all, if you've listened to the broadcast, you'd know - it isn't funny. The joke isn't at all funny because unlike a good prank call, the caller isn't making fun of himself or the situation, it is simply insulting the victim. I'm sorry, but the primary premise of the joke - a computerized voice prank calling an Asian restaurant while throwing racist comments isn't funny. It's just mean.
Anyway, I've been just pissed about the whole thing - and I'd probably post something about it in a public forum or something. I don't know. It's eating at me. Spreading prejudices is just plain hateful for me.
---
On the brighter side, the news that Gliese 581 c being possibly habitable is just geeking me out. I'm not real big on astronomy, and not that into sci-fi, but hearing that there could be another planet that's habitable that's 20 light years away, and that if any of us wanted to visit - we couldn't. It would have to be what I read would be a "generation ship", a spaceship that's big enough to have a small population (so as to ensure genetic diversity) that carries on toward a mission that will last 500 years and many descendants, before they even get to the planet to begin any kind of steps toward populating the planet. That stuff is just mind-boggling. It's exciting and humbling at the same time. Just amazing. Read more about that here.
Now I don't necessarily want the jobs to be terminated, but I do want apologies to be public. Stupid, crass humor by shock jocks will always exist, but our society needs to be more unified as to what constitutes responsible entertainment and what doesn't. First of all, if you've listened to the broadcast, you'd know - it isn't funny. The joke isn't at all funny because unlike a good prank call, the caller isn't making fun of himself or the situation, it is simply insulting the victim. I'm sorry, but the primary premise of the joke - a computerized voice prank calling an Asian restaurant while throwing racist comments isn't funny. It's just mean.
Anyway, I've been just pissed about the whole thing - and I'd probably post something about it in a public forum or something. I don't know. It's eating at me. Spreading prejudices is just plain hateful for me.
---
On the brighter side, the news that Gliese 581 c being possibly habitable is just geeking me out. I'm not real big on astronomy, and not that into sci-fi, but hearing that there could be another planet that's habitable that's 20 light years away, and that if any of us wanted to visit - we couldn't. It would have to be what I read would be a "generation ship", a spaceship that's big enough to have a small population (so as to ensure genetic diversity) that carries on toward a mission that will last 500 years and many descendants, before they even get to the planet to begin any kind of steps toward populating the planet. That stuff is just mind-boggling. It's exciting and humbling at the same time. Just amazing. Read more about that here.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Hiring a Videographer for Your Wedding
These are some things to keep in mind if you're planning to hire a videographer for your wedding. I've run into a lot of these problems which could've been easily avoided if some ground rules are set. My regular readers won't care, but if this is googled, and it helps someone out, great.
Make a Timetable for your Wedding Day, and Stick to It.
During the invitation, stress that the wedding will start on time. There will always be stragglers coming in during the ceremony, there's no delay you can put on your wedding that will remedy that. Why the strict timetable? Because this will give both the videographer and photographer estimates as to when the important stuff happens, and they won't miss it capturing something else. You should have things like start of ceremony, start of reception, First Dance, Bouquet Toss, Garter Toss, Money Dance, Father/Mother Dance and Cake Cutting all laid out. Try to get them out of the way early in the reception, so that your guests will be able to enjoy all of it. I've had a garter toss at midnight when only a few gals were left, and I've had to miss a few things because the couple had scheduled those activities outside my time frame. Never underestimate your friends and families' ability to leave early during the reception. Remember, it may be full of commotion for the bride and groom, but for the guests, if the reception drags without any real activity, they will start leaving. A timetable is essential to a successful wedding day.
Assign a M.C./Coordinator
If you can't afford one, assign a family member to it. This family member should be the taskmaster type that likes to keep everything organized and going. A socializer would not be a good idea for this role. This person will be responsible for the timetable being upheld, and basically given the authority to act on the bride and groom's behalf. He or she will ensure that the happy couple are where they need to be when they need to be, and just make sure that the evening goes according to plan. This person can even be given the power to outrule any offending parents who might want to veer the evening a certain way - basically a voice and enforcer for the bride and groom who can answer questions.
Tell the Videographer of Special Circumstances
This might seem obvious, but then again, it isn't. But when there's something unique like a choreographed dance, a member of the wedding party singing, or there are many different speakers during the ceremony - anything like that, the videographer needs to know. That way the people can be mic-ed up, and the videographer can find the best angle to shoot from. Videographers don't like surprises, because we get caught off guard and miss something. And when we miss something, it's difficult to stop the action to remedy the shot, or reposition the camera.
Let the Pros do their Job
You've paid money for the Photographer and Videographer, right? Let them do their jobs, and get the best shots. Unfortunately, the bride and groom are usually too busy being married, so they can't do anything about it. But I've had two ceremonies whereby friends and family will have the gall to stand in front of my camera to take their own photos and videos. I shoot from the back because of two reasons - to get the couple walking down the aisle at the end of the ceremony, and to stay out of the guests way. I could certainly be position shotgun right by the bride and groom to get the best angle, but it would block all the guests from seeing the bride and groom. So it's no different when Uncle Jimmy decides to stand in the middle of the aisle trying to get a good shot. This is when the MC/Coordinator has to come in and shoo them away.
Your ceremony is a once in a lifetime moment. Don't let it be obstructed by overzealous amateurs trying to get a good photo or video. They mean well, but it is too difficult to work around. Let the photographer and videographer get first dibs.
Expect a Longer Turnaround for your Video
One of the first questions should be, "How far are you currently behind?" Ask for a honest answers. I myself would be forced to answer a few months, and I've heard horror stories about videographers being a year behind. I've heard from a client that her sister got married, had kids, and still haven't seen their wedding video. I'm not the best, but I'm not that bad. Editing is a lot different than just shooting a video. A videographer has to sift through hours of footage, score it to music, render the effects, author the DVD and design the case. They do take a lot of time.
On the other hand, videography are often small businesses and owners often can procrastinate, especially if they work from home. So, try to establish whether the videographer you have in mind will have a dependable and acceptable turnaround before you hire them.
Make a Timetable for your Wedding Day, and Stick to It.
During the invitation, stress that the wedding will start on time. There will always be stragglers coming in during the ceremony, there's no delay you can put on your wedding that will remedy that. Why the strict timetable? Because this will give both the videographer and photographer estimates as to when the important stuff happens, and they won't miss it capturing something else. You should have things like start of ceremony, start of reception, First Dance, Bouquet Toss, Garter Toss, Money Dance, Father/Mother Dance and Cake Cutting all laid out. Try to get them out of the way early in the reception, so that your guests will be able to enjoy all of it. I've had a garter toss at midnight when only a few gals were left, and I've had to miss a few things because the couple had scheduled those activities outside my time frame. Never underestimate your friends and families' ability to leave early during the reception. Remember, it may be full of commotion for the bride and groom, but for the guests, if the reception drags without any real activity, they will start leaving. A timetable is essential to a successful wedding day.
Assign a M.C./Coordinator
If you can't afford one, assign a family member to it. This family member should be the taskmaster type that likes to keep everything organized and going. A socializer would not be a good idea for this role. This person will be responsible for the timetable being upheld, and basically given the authority to act on the bride and groom's behalf. He or she will ensure that the happy couple are where they need to be when they need to be, and just make sure that the evening goes according to plan. This person can even be given the power to outrule any offending parents who might want to veer the evening a certain way - basically a voice and enforcer for the bride and groom who can answer questions.
Tell the Videographer of Special Circumstances
This might seem obvious, but then again, it isn't. But when there's something unique like a choreographed dance, a member of the wedding party singing, or there are many different speakers during the ceremony - anything like that, the videographer needs to know. That way the people can be mic-ed up, and the videographer can find the best angle to shoot from. Videographers don't like surprises, because we get caught off guard and miss something. And when we miss something, it's difficult to stop the action to remedy the shot, or reposition the camera.
Let the Pros do their Job
You've paid money for the Photographer and Videographer, right? Let them do their jobs, and get the best shots. Unfortunately, the bride and groom are usually too busy being married, so they can't do anything about it. But I've had two ceremonies whereby friends and family will have the gall to stand in front of my camera to take their own photos and videos. I shoot from the back because of two reasons - to get the couple walking down the aisle at the end of the ceremony, and to stay out of the guests way. I could certainly be position shotgun right by the bride and groom to get the best angle, but it would block all the guests from seeing the bride and groom. So it's no different when Uncle Jimmy decides to stand in the middle of the aisle trying to get a good shot. This is when the MC/Coordinator has to come in and shoo them away.
Your ceremony is a once in a lifetime moment. Don't let it be obstructed by overzealous amateurs trying to get a good photo or video. They mean well, but it is too difficult to work around. Let the photographer and videographer get first dibs.
Expect a Longer Turnaround for your Video
One of the first questions should be, "How far are you currently behind?" Ask for a honest answers. I myself would be forced to answer a few months, and I've heard horror stories about videographers being a year behind. I've heard from a client that her sister got married, had kids, and still haven't seen their wedding video. I'm not the best, but I'm not that bad. Editing is a lot different than just shooting a video. A videographer has to sift through hours of footage, score it to music, render the effects, author the DVD and design the case. They do take a lot of time.
On the other hand, videography are often small businesses and owners often can procrastinate, especially if they work from home. So, try to establish whether the videographer you have in mind will have a dependable and acceptable turnaround before you hire them.
Adventures in Hair Growth
I don't really know what prompted it, but I've just been letting my facial hair go crazy. I'm not particular fond that look per se, never looked at another man's stubble and wished it upon myself, or equated facial hair as a sign of masculinity. In fact, I didn't really think about it but a lot of my pallies do have facial hair - Brendon, Dansen, Cody, Jay... I just never really thought of it. I think my two main reasons for continuing this path of reckless hair surge is that I'm curious as to what I'd look like, without employing the use of a Sharpie, and that I probably want to look different for a role I'm thinking of for my new film. Yes, I imagined myself in my own film, though it's a pretty smallish role.
So far, the response has been 50/50. My mom asks me constantly why I haven't shaved, and to use an equivalent word for her Cantonese description, it's "icky". The direct translation is more like, "makes your flesh shrivel up", but I don't warrant it to be quite that bad. My wife doesn't mind - in fact, she's curious herself as to what it might end up being. Maybe a sailboat. Or a finely trimmed animal hedge.
Anyone who's looked at my hair growth will know by now, I'm not exactly follically gifted. I'm not balding or anything, but I tend to grow thin strands of sparsely laid out hair. So I'm looking less like Burt Reynolds and more like Fu Manchu, or Pai Mel, or any of those stereotypical Asian villains from exploitation films. I keep telling myself that it might improve into something a little more substantial - only time and reactions from other people's faces will tell.
I do have a certain level of obsessiveness with my hands, so I will play with my kidtee a lot. So, it's not fully grown, so it's not a goatee. Ha ha. I'd spend the whole time poking it, stroking it, bouncing it. Like some weirdo. I also don't think much about what it really is, like a goatee/mustache combo, but I'd think of it as my chin and lip bristly-bristly, which is what I refer to it with my kids. They don't seem to be too bothered by it in general, though Zoe sometimes try to pull hairs off. That's not that much fun.
Well, that's enough about my hair.
----
Yesterday we also went ice skating for the first time, if only those wankers didn't cancel their public skate for something else. Instead, we were outside doing some miniature golf, which we had planned to do anyway. It was fun, though 26 bucks is quite steep for a family of four. The course wasn't spectacular, but it was just right for the kids. A breeze for adults though. Golf turned into more like astroturf shuffleboard for them, they'd scoot the boot towards the hole or just pick up the ball and walk it over and place it right beside the hole.
And that's it for me.
So far, the response has been 50/50. My mom asks me constantly why I haven't shaved, and to use an equivalent word for her Cantonese description, it's "icky". The direct translation is more like, "makes your flesh shrivel up", but I don't warrant it to be quite that bad. My wife doesn't mind - in fact, she's curious herself as to what it might end up being. Maybe a sailboat. Or a finely trimmed animal hedge.
Anyone who's looked at my hair growth will know by now, I'm not exactly follically gifted. I'm not balding or anything, but I tend to grow thin strands of sparsely laid out hair. So I'm looking less like Burt Reynolds and more like Fu Manchu, or Pai Mel, or any of those stereotypical Asian villains from exploitation films. I keep telling myself that it might improve into something a little more substantial - only time and reactions from other people's faces will tell.
I do have a certain level of obsessiveness with my hands, so I will play with my kidtee a lot. So, it's not fully grown, so it's not a goatee. Ha ha. I'd spend the whole time poking it, stroking it, bouncing it. Like some weirdo. I also don't think much about what it really is, like a goatee/mustache combo, but I'd think of it as my chin and lip bristly-bristly, which is what I refer to it with my kids. They don't seem to be too bothered by it in general, though Zoe sometimes try to pull hairs off. That's not that much fun.
Well, that's enough about my hair.
----
Yesterday we also went ice skating for the first time, if only those wankers didn't cancel their public skate for something else. Instead, we were outside doing some miniature golf, which we had planned to do anyway. It was fun, though 26 bucks is quite steep for a family of four. The course wasn't spectacular, but it was just right for the kids. A breeze for adults though. Golf turned into more like astroturf shuffleboard for them, they'd scoot the boot towards the hole or just pick up the ball and walk it over and place it right beside the hole.
And that's it for me.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Escort
Sitting here at the doctor's office. I'm like a professional escort for my family. Just drive people to their appointments, sit by my laptop and blog about everything.
My mum's in for her cough and something else, hopefully it's nothing. But man, our family as a whole has gotten so many doctor's visits in that we're likely adding wings to medical institutions. I really should get in the medical healthcare as a profession so that I can make some of it back.
So I'm going through my jumbled archive of American Baby, sorting it all in order so that I can print it into a book, and I realized how keeping the blog really helps me remember a lot of things that I've otherwise forgotten. Obviously, describing the day recounts some of those things, but it's the pedestrian things that I was thinking and doing while writing it that's also good for jogging those memories. But after about 5 minutes of cutting and pasting, along with the droney classical music that's seeping through the waiting room, I'm practically comatose. I need some stinkin' overtures to get me going, damn it.
Anyway, I had a thought about being evil. I think people in general like to think that evil is removed from our society, and that people like Cho are evil because they might have been abused, ignored, delusional, psychotic, what have you. They're always trying to pin evil on some kind of history that's deviant from the rest of us. That being evil is triggered by something dark and sinister, something horrible.
Was flipping through a Life Magazine Book (what?) yesterday and I came across many evils of mankind. There are some photos that reinforce humanity, but the ones that draw our attentions are the ones that linger around death. Just before death, the transition of it, or the aftermath of it. Of course, there's a lot of it that has nothing to do with the notion of evil, but there's a handful that certainly does. The evil that looms within the soul of an individual.
DOOOOOMMMM. DOOOOOMMMM! But seriously, I think getting people on camera to say that Cho was a weirdo, that he was antisocial, that he was this and that, are all ways of trying to distance him from the rest of us. Was he evil? Well, I would say yes. But I think only to a certain degree. I know my homebrew psychology doesn't amount to much, but here it is. I think he is evil in a sense that he did not regard the lives that he was going to affect.
But you read about him and some of it do ring true to home, I mean, most of us probably at some point didn't want to communicate with the world, just wanted to feel sorry for ourselves, and acted a little loco toward the opposite sex, right? Not to the extreme, but we think of it. There are times when we wished everyone in the room would just go away. Not die, but just to disappear for a while. Is that evil? Or is that just our ego trying to gain control over something that cannot be manipulated? We don't really like to acknowledge that the notion exists in any of us, and when it surfaces we like to squelch it with reasons.
Well, enough of that.
My mum's in for her cough and something else, hopefully it's nothing. But man, our family as a whole has gotten so many doctor's visits in that we're likely adding wings to medical institutions. I really should get in the medical healthcare as a profession so that I can make some of it back.
So I'm going through my jumbled archive of American Baby, sorting it all in order so that I can print it into a book, and I realized how keeping the blog really helps me remember a lot of things that I've otherwise forgotten. Obviously, describing the day recounts some of those things, but it's the pedestrian things that I was thinking and doing while writing it that's also good for jogging those memories. But after about 5 minutes of cutting and pasting, along with the droney classical music that's seeping through the waiting room, I'm practically comatose. I need some stinkin' overtures to get me going, damn it.
Anyway, I had a thought about being evil. I think people in general like to think that evil is removed from our society, and that people like Cho are evil because they might have been abused, ignored, delusional, psychotic, what have you. They're always trying to pin evil on some kind of history that's deviant from the rest of us. That being evil is triggered by something dark and sinister, something horrible.
Was flipping through a Life Magazine Book (what?) yesterday and I came across many evils of mankind. There are some photos that reinforce humanity, but the ones that draw our attentions are the ones that linger around death. Just before death, the transition of it, or the aftermath of it. Of course, there's a lot of it that has nothing to do with the notion of evil, but there's a handful that certainly does. The evil that looms within the soul of an individual.
DOOOOOMMMM. DOOOOOMMMM! But seriously, I think getting people on camera to say that Cho was a weirdo, that he was antisocial, that he was this and that, are all ways of trying to distance him from the rest of us. Was he evil? Well, I would say yes. But I think only to a certain degree. I know my homebrew psychology doesn't amount to much, but here it is. I think he is evil in a sense that he did not regard the lives that he was going to affect.
But you read about him and some of it do ring true to home, I mean, most of us probably at some point didn't want to communicate with the world, just wanted to feel sorry for ourselves, and acted a little loco toward the opposite sex, right? Not to the extreme, but we think of it. There are times when we wished everyone in the room would just go away. Not die, but just to disappear for a while. Is that evil? Or is that just our ego trying to gain control over something that cannot be manipulated? We don't really like to acknowledge that the notion exists in any of us, and when it surfaces we like to squelch it with reasons.
Well, enough of that.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Virginia Tech
I think I've been a little bummed about life these past few days because of the massacre at VT. The shooting itself is upsetting, but it seems like the repercussions of it are making me a little agitated. It seems like everyone wants to use a tragedy to push their own agendas, and everyone's looking to blame somebody. I've been frustrated by some of the things that are going on, and I'm probably joining the masses in criticizing issues that I don't know enough about, but what else am I supposed to do with this blog?
The Media
The Media, specifically NBC, has really mishandled the whole tragedy, as it usually does. I don't blame the parents of Cho for vacating their homes for some sort of safehouse, because it's hard enough to lose your son, it's even tougher when your son is responsible for deaths. To have the media scrutinize your parenting is something I never wish any parent has to endure.
Last night I logged onto CNN and a photo of Cho, brandishing a gun toward me, was on the splash page. Now I myself don't particularly find that tasteful, because it fulfills exactly what Cho had wanted to do. To be elevated to a celebrity status, a martyr without a cause. Cho practically sent a press package to NBC, and NBC, for unknown reasons, decided to use portions of the videos and photos to a nation that's still trying to come to grips with it. A slap in the face for the families and the students at VT.
Furthermore, the media and authorities are just looking for answers and somehow falling into the trap of saying that he's delusional, he's a loner, a creep, and so forth. I don't know if he is a loser or not, but the media sure is giving Cho a lot of airtime. Like a misdirected classmate said, he's going to try to go on the air every chance he gets so that Cho doesn't get any airtime. Valiant effort, albiet a bit self-serving. But yeah, there was a bombing in Baghdad that killed scores a couple days ago. It's gotten very little coverage.
The media is a double edged sword - I mean, I'm guilty of scouring the net to find out more information, why, and how it happened. I suppose there should be better standards regarding the ethical glorification of any individual who's done something terrible. Cho absolutely got what he wanted. Exact violence, and be remembered for it.
The Gun Debate
Let it be known, that I do like to play with guns. At the gun range. I like the way they feel, I like shooting them, I like the inherent power within, I like their destructive power. However, I do not like to kill. I wouldn't go hunting, even if it were small game like birds or rodents. I like Futureweapons on Discovery Channel, but somehow my mind doesn't connect that these weapons are used for killing other human beings. Nonetheless, I think guns have their place in society, but only in the hands of law enforcement and military. There's a fear that citizens would be unable to arm themselves if the inevitable happened, whatever the hell that may be, but it's a paranoid assumption that a couple handguns in your home would protect anyone if The Threat really wanted to get you.
The current debate now is that if Virginia didn't have a law forbidding people with concealed weapons permit to carry guns on campus, the shooter might have been stopped sooner. The gun advocates like to point out the case of Luby's Diner in Texas, whereby a victim had a gun, but it was in her car because of the law. There is that assumption that she might have been able to stop what was until recently, the worse mass killing by firearms in America. However, that is still just an assumption. Another case, which I don't have the specifics now, was another shooting that was effectively stopped because two students/workers ran to their cars, brandished their firearms, managed to get the shooter to surrender.
All this sounds logical, but gun advocates also tend to forget that for every law-abiding, gun respecting American, there is a hot-tempered, judgment impaired American who really don't need to brandish anything sharper than the edge of a credit card. There was a shooting last year at Westlake Mall whereby this guy, who was threatening with a knife and was mentally unstable, was shot and killed by a man who had a permit. They ruled it as self-defense, but I think that might have been a little much. Excessive force is often used by law enforcement against people who pose little or no threat, we simply do not need everyone walking on eggshells. Allowing guns on the street "just in case" is really no different than the sentiment during the Cold War. And what fun that was.
The Videogame/Movie Debate
This isn't a new one, and yes, I like videogames. I have a certain bloodlust when it comes to Grand Theft Auto, Black, or God of War. They went through Cho's home and found no videogames, and Jack Thompson had to put his megaphone back into his closet.
Unless there was someone going around throwing videogames at other people, I can't find the argument that videogames inspire people to kill. By that rationale, shouldn't millions of people be going around with antisocial mindsets, killing everyone with chainsaw guns? And yes, videogames in the wrong hands of children may confuse their sense of reality and escapism, but on the whole, it would take a lot of neglect on the guardian or parents part to not instill a sense of right and wrong about videogames.
On the whole, I don't think videogames and movies have much bearing on violence in schools. They're just an easy target because nobody can effectively blame our society as a whole. Nobody can blame how a child can feel so alone. Nobody can blame why a child doesn't have a circle of friends and family that can be trusted. Nobody can blame the lack of community that binds people together.
The Fallout
Thankfully, I haven't heard of any real severe backlash toward Koreans, but there are a handful. Kids being spat on, stupid phrases like, "go home to your country" being uttered. I think it's hard though, that Cho is a silent, brooding, shy type that is a little off and antisocial, because that was me 10 years ago. I was probably funnier that he ever wished to be, and I think his scriptwriting skills are crap, but hell, Cho managed to fit the profile of a lot of Asians. I wonder racists ever got around to spitting on White People's faces when the Unabomber or McVeigh were revealed to the public. Absurd? Yeah.
This whole thing has touched off so many issues and it's frustrating because we are a nation already burdened with too much unnecessary blood on our hands. Well, enough politics. I just needed to get all these thoughts out of my head.
The Media
The Media, specifically NBC, has really mishandled the whole tragedy, as it usually does. I don't blame the parents of Cho for vacating their homes for some sort of safehouse, because it's hard enough to lose your son, it's even tougher when your son is responsible for deaths. To have the media scrutinize your parenting is something I never wish any parent has to endure.
Last night I logged onto CNN and a photo of Cho, brandishing a gun toward me, was on the splash page. Now I myself don't particularly find that tasteful, because it fulfills exactly what Cho had wanted to do. To be elevated to a celebrity status, a martyr without a cause. Cho practically sent a press package to NBC, and NBC, for unknown reasons, decided to use portions of the videos and photos to a nation that's still trying to come to grips with it. A slap in the face for the families and the students at VT.
Furthermore, the media and authorities are just looking for answers and somehow falling into the trap of saying that he's delusional, he's a loner, a creep, and so forth. I don't know if he is a loser or not, but the media sure is giving Cho a lot of airtime. Like a misdirected classmate said, he's going to try to go on the air every chance he gets so that Cho doesn't get any airtime. Valiant effort, albiet a bit self-serving. But yeah, there was a bombing in Baghdad that killed scores a couple days ago. It's gotten very little coverage.
The media is a double edged sword - I mean, I'm guilty of scouring the net to find out more information, why, and how it happened. I suppose there should be better standards regarding the ethical glorification of any individual who's done something terrible. Cho absolutely got what he wanted. Exact violence, and be remembered for it.
The Gun Debate
Let it be known, that I do like to play with guns. At the gun range. I like the way they feel, I like shooting them, I like the inherent power within, I like their destructive power. However, I do not like to kill. I wouldn't go hunting, even if it were small game like birds or rodents. I like Futureweapons on Discovery Channel, but somehow my mind doesn't connect that these weapons are used for killing other human beings. Nonetheless, I think guns have their place in society, but only in the hands of law enforcement and military. There's a fear that citizens would be unable to arm themselves if the inevitable happened, whatever the hell that may be, but it's a paranoid assumption that a couple handguns in your home would protect anyone if The Threat really wanted to get you.
The current debate now is that if Virginia didn't have a law forbidding people with concealed weapons permit to carry guns on campus, the shooter might have been stopped sooner. The gun advocates like to point out the case of Luby's Diner in Texas, whereby a victim had a gun, but it was in her car because of the law. There is that assumption that she might have been able to stop what was until recently, the worse mass killing by firearms in America. However, that is still just an assumption. Another case, which I don't have the specifics now, was another shooting that was effectively stopped because two students/workers ran to their cars, brandished their firearms, managed to get the shooter to surrender.
All this sounds logical, but gun advocates also tend to forget that for every law-abiding, gun respecting American, there is a hot-tempered, judgment impaired American who really don't need to brandish anything sharper than the edge of a credit card. There was a shooting last year at Westlake Mall whereby this guy, who was threatening with a knife and was mentally unstable, was shot and killed by a man who had a permit. They ruled it as self-defense, but I think that might have been a little much. Excessive force is often used by law enforcement against people who pose little or no threat, we simply do not need everyone walking on eggshells. Allowing guns on the street "just in case" is really no different than the sentiment during the Cold War. And what fun that was.
The Videogame/Movie Debate
This isn't a new one, and yes, I like videogames. I have a certain bloodlust when it comes to Grand Theft Auto, Black, or God of War. They went through Cho's home and found no videogames, and Jack Thompson had to put his megaphone back into his closet.
Unless there was someone going around throwing videogames at other people, I can't find the argument that videogames inspire people to kill. By that rationale, shouldn't millions of people be going around with antisocial mindsets, killing everyone with chainsaw guns? And yes, videogames in the wrong hands of children may confuse their sense of reality and escapism, but on the whole, it would take a lot of neglect on the guardian or parents part to not instill a sense of right and wrong about videogames.
On the whole, I don't think videogames and movies have much bearing on violence in schools. They're just an easy target because nobody can effectively blame our society as a whole. Nobody can blame how a child can feel so alone. Nobody can blame why a child doesn't have a circle of friends and family that can be trusted. Nobody can blame the lack of community that binds people together.
The Fallout
Thankfully, I haven't heard of any real severe backlash toward Koreans, but there are a handful. Kids being spat on, stupid phrases like, "go home to your country" being uttered. I think it's hard though, that Cho is a silent, brooding, shy type that is a little off and antisocial, because that was me 10 years ago. I was probably funnier that he ever wished to be, and I think his scriptwriting skills are crap, but hell, Cho managed to fit the profile of a lot of Asians. I wonder racists ever got around to spitting on White People's faces when the Unabomber or McVeigh were revealed to the public. Absurd? Yeah.
This whole thing has touched off so many issues and it's frustrating because we are a nation already burdened with too much unnecessary blood on our hands. Well, enough politics. I just needed to get all these thoughts out of my head.
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