Chain Mail and Bulletins

I don't want to be too specific because I don't mean to offend my friends, but the right friends I know don't do this or read this blog, so it's probably okay.

I was just visiting someplace online and on the bulletin board, he'd posted a few chain mail type things, and this was one of them. Bear with me.

ONCE YOU START.
FiNiSH

if this doesn't touch u.....you're heartless

One night a guy & a girl were
driving home from the movies. The
boy sensed there was
something wrong because of the painful
silence they shared between them
that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over
because she wanted to talk. She told him that her
feelings had changed & that it was time to move on.
A silent tear slid down his cheek as he
slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note.
At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down
that very same street. He swerved
right into the drivers seat, killing the boy.
Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she
pulled it out & read it.
"Without your love, I would die."

1st:
If u post this on a bulletin in 5 minutes
someone special will message or call you.

2nd:
REPOST IF YOU CARE ABOUT SOMEONE SO MUCH THAT YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT THEM. (even your best friends)

repost this with the title "Cutest love note"

Okay. I'll let you take a breath.

Ready?

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. What kind of precognitive moron keeps a sad sack note like that in his pocket? You really must be screwing up big time in your relationship to keep something depressing like that in your pocket, next to, "I wish you hadn't pulled that lever," and "I told you that was gasoline, not water."

There are similar ones like this, all with some moral behind it, which is inspirational and fairly worthy of a read, but they all end with something like, "If you have no human heart, don't repost this." or "If you do not email this to 10 other friends, you must eat babies and like to fuck the tailpipes of abandoned cars, and death will befall you in the next 5 minutes."

First of all, I'd hate to think that my destiny lies within some friend of mine emailing me my future. Second of all, seriously, if you were a friend of mine, don't email me that. It's like passing me a lit stick of dynamite. Don't make me determine the destiny of other people by forcing me to choose if I wanna die or not. C'mon.

I naturally never repost or reply or forward any of that crap, mostly because I like to have days like June 29.

Sometimes I get a little ballsy and I email people back.

My friend sent me a powerpoint presentation, which, in itself, is fairly retarded. Powerpoint presentations don't belong in personal correspondence, unless you really don't want to maintain your friendships, or if you're a big phallus. Anyway, it was basically another inspirational photo of a supposed river in Burma.



Well, tip it on its side and it's the magical image of a mother and a son, praying.

So, being the skeptical asshole I am, I googled the mofo and came up with this. Basically says it's from a Korean Children's book.

So I sent the link back to him. He hasn't emailed me back a reply.

My Dad, actually, sent me something too. Basically if you were having a heart attack, to make yourself cough violently, who should buy you time to get to a hospital to seek immediate medical attention. Looked it up, disproved it and emailed him back.

And he hasn't emailed me stuff since.

I dunno, I can be difficult sometimes. But seriously, stop doling out chain letters to me and I'll stop complaining about them. But none of you readers do that though. That's why I love you guys.