Unmotivated

Here I am with a little free time on my hands and I should be working on my story, but as always, I'm a little stuck on words and the feeling that my story outline isn't quite complete is bugging me.  The tone isn't quite right so I keep doubting myself, and my mind isn't quite on track to focus on a story right now.  I don't know right now what it would take for me to get going on the story, but I'm not about to solve it right now.  Right now I'll just jot something on the blog and call it a day.

Taking an extra day to burn off some PTO, which has been kinda nice because I've been a little burned out from work.  Not that it's hard or stressful, just very routine and uninspired.  I can't complain because it does pay the bills and the roof of which we're under.  Different things inspire me than what my work offers, which aside from the customary monetary compensation, also offers the good karma of being a lifesaver.  Which is barely passable because I'm not entirely sure what I do have a direct effect of somebody's life being saved.  Nonetheless, the thing that inspires me the most is perhaps the power to inspire others, to invoke emotion through the medium of writing, or photography, or video.  That truly is my muse.  The entertainment industry would get me working for next to nothing because it fills that void in my soul that none of the other jobs I've done can.  But until the house is paid off, this is what I'm doing, I guess.

One of the things I've been struggling with of late is my incessant multitasking, and I don't mean that in a productive, awesome way.  I mean that in a distracted, destructive manner whereby I have to fill every waking second with some data intake of any sort, whether it be news or reddit on my phone, or audiobooks in the car, or podcasts at work.  My brain does not get a calm moment to cultivate a thought in my head because I'm constantly bombarding it with information.  On Saturday I had to just step outside into my backyard with my ukelele, strum a few chords and just lay on the trampoline and stare at the clouds.  Yes, you could argue that's still doing too many things at once, but it was exactly the thing that I needed.  Something that did not benefit anything.  Just to be present in my own world. I need to do that more in order to be productive.  To force my brain to vacate once in a while.  Because even when I sleep, my brain often goes into overtime, formulating dreams that always result in me waking up and being mentally exhausted.

On Saturday we also went to see Star Trek Into Darkness, because after our accidental viewing of Iron Man 3, I found that I actually do enjoy going to the movies.  Except we just saw the 2D version of Star Trek because I didn't want to spend 60 bucks seeing a goddamn movie in 3D.  I'm all for technological progress but ever since the 3D craze reemerged a few years ago, I honestly can't say that it has enhanced my viewing experience.  I still remember going with my wife to see Superman Returns in IMAX and what a big deal that was.  And only sections of that movie was in 3D.  

I think I'll go read now.  That sounds relaxing.