Dreading the return to work tomorrow, but at the same time it'll be a nice distraction. Sometimes being at home is an exercise in self control, because I can't really do what I'd like to be doing, namely playing bloody first person shooters, watching any assortment of movies, and sleeping countless hours irregularly. Instead I have to regulate everything so that my kids don't grow up to be such a passive consumer like myself, and in a way, its probably better for me if I don't constantly flood myself with media.

The kids would look at me for entertainment, asking me what to do, if they can play video games and such. So I render myself duller than normal, bringing out a magazine and just planting myself in the living room. So now I'm around, not doing anything interesting or fun, and the kids turn to each other for entertainment instead. Then I remember that I have a phone and I can be a chatty blogger, and so here we are.

Took Mom to Ranch 99, the Asian supermarket in Kent that always smell a little off, but always is packed with people. Today was no exception, with more people than usual. While my mom shops, the kids and us usually just stall by the arcades and quarter vending machines, so we bought about 2 dollars in crap, half of which is already broken. But the kids are contend, then we go to a Japanese restaurant and I fix me up some udon and California rolls. Life is pretty good but the mango smoothy was the tops.

I wonder now what my mom used to do or think about when I was a kid. Was she busy with her life while just keeping a watch for me or waiting for me to go to bed so she could do whatever she really wanted to do? I guess a big hurdle for me is I can't render myself too oblivious and I tend to read too much of a situation. I think about how to be a better Dad much more often than what a good Dad I've been. Same goes with how good a son I've been, what I've been doing with my life, how my career is stacking up... I do too many self assessments. Detrimental more than constructive too. Damn, I wish work was swamped so at the end of each day, I would feel an enormous sense of accomplishment instead of this feeling of perpetual waiting. Waiting for orders, waiting to move up and to do something more productive, waiting for things to happen.

Well, there's always some sign that needs replacing at work.